Omens

So I'm not all that superstitious, only I am. Probably shouldn't be admitting to this on the world wide web but there it is.

I don't like crows. I know, they get a bad wrap but I still think they are a bad luck sign. Funny though, black cats are just cool, especially with white paws.

Biggest bad omen though is entering a new year with a messy/dirty house. That's my mission today. To enter on a good note. It's an old proverb I think. Something about enter on a bad note and that's how the rest of your year will be. It's been a crazy hectic successful year but messy. Very, very messy.

I've got one day to make amends. Wish me luck.

Gotta love Big Brother (oops, I meant to say Google)

So, I did a google search and then came to this blog to enter my musings of the morning only to find an ad for the company that I had just done a search for pop up on my blog ... creepy ...

No, really folks. Google is crossing the line. How about Google+ (no aliases allowed!) Even if you don't want to use Google, they'll find you and expose you.

My mind is reeling from the repercussions. Just imagine that poor woman trying to build a new life for herself and escape an abusive husband or a people in the eye witness protection program or political dissidents or ... you get the picture. But, some holier than though idealists in a padded office at Google central have decided that you cannot hide and you must be exposed.

Even those who try to escape an online presence will not be saved. Cross links are everywhere ...

We are all living in glass houses and it seems to me that the all-mighty Google is resting back and casting stones.

I say all this, typing it into Blogspot, a Google product.

Boxing Day 2011

I feel about as satisfied as can be today. The madness is over and now for a few weeks of rest. There are meetings in the not too distant future and crazy deadlines and all kinds of obligations but for now all I have to do is be here.

No place I'd rather be.

a fond farewell

After 41 years of marriage a woman suddenly gets diagnosed with cancer and dies 3 months later, leaving behind eight grand children, three children, and a very lonely husband. The hall was packed and tears were shed.

The pastor... don't know if it was just me... seemed somewhat bored with the proceedings but this was all taken in stride. Nobody was there for the pastor.

The most amazing thing is it was the women who were better able to holding together. The men cried like babies ... so did I, though not a guy.

Twitter is for twits

So, I'm a twit. I still don't get so much of it but I tweet. It is amazing how much closer you get to the strangest people. There is no way that somebody I watch on TV or whose books I grew up adulating would ever get anywhere close to hearing something I had to say if it were not for Twitter. With Twitter I am right there, right with them. Unbelievable. Cool. Scary.

The point, of course, is to reach out and connect through social media. It is the intent to spread your social circles and expand your ability to interface but does it ever feel like cyber stalking at times.

Well wishers

Got a call this morning from somebody who loves me. Seems that the past evening's conversation weighed heavily on his mind. He did not mean to discourage, only to shield.

It is the sort of rationalization that has kept me from producing all these years... the idea that my eye and hand are not trained. The point is that it could be. Why not? All it takes is the doing. It is not impossible. I just have to want to. I don't think I ever really fully realized that I just had to want to. It was never that I was not good enough.

With maturity, you do gain further understanding. I get it now and it isn't stopping me. Not anymore. Now, it doesn't matter if I will succeed at it because it is no longer the point to succeed at it. It is only to do. I am doing.

I am an artist

I had an epiphany a long time ago. Actually, it was an anti-epiphany. The sort that prompts artists more talented than me to burn their brushes and canvasses. I've never been so extreme though I do feel mediocre.

I'm not mediocre. A bit average but not mediocre. Potential is there but so are many, many nagging thoughts, mostly put there by those who wish me well.

So, the epiphany is this: if you listen to the people who mean you well instead of be brave enough to try anyway, you'll never get close to quenching that thirst.

Do I want to be a famous, established artist who makes a living at painting? Truth be told, I couldn't care less. I have never been motivated by money or the impressions of others. I have, however, always wanted to have an art studio, filled with large canvasses and paint, paint, glorious paint, everywhere. I have always seen myself in the midst of colour and life and in a dream am too afraid to fall asleep to even come close to dreaming, I see myself fearlessly attacking a canvass the size of a house, music blaring and hearing nothing but movement.

So, I've started. I'm on my third painting and I wouldn't say they are particularly good but I don't want to correct them or change them. Not because they can't be made better or because I'm in a rush to move on to the next one but because each one is like a dent on the road to a destination. In each mistake there was a motivating purpose. It's only paint.

My question tonight was: if I display it for public view will I only be embarrassing myself? The answer: "no". My second question: does it smell of amateur? "yes", though put differently "it has the potential for great commercial success." Interpretation: I need practice. I need to work harder. That's fine. I need to study? Always.

But, back to "Broken Axle Spinning Blind", my poetry and my cover, ... no real education behind it. Only pure depth of feeling and lots of heart and I still love it.

So, maybe I'll hold off a bit before showcasing the stuff until I can show skill as well as talent.

Apathy

Haven't written in a while. In part because I've been busy. In part because I have been thinking of shutting down the blog. Today I'm glad I didn't. I have something to say and I hope you'll listen, take note, and spread the word.

There's been more and more talk lately about onlookers observing as an injustice takes place. More and more, rather than intervening on behalf of somebody being beaten to a pulp, video tape it and post it to YouTube. Sheep. That's what they all are.

I stepped in today and when I turned around found that the onlookers did not back me up. If the mob had turned on me, I would had been toast and nobody would have helped. I went home wondering if I had been out of line or overreacted. I hadn't but those around me certainly under-reacted.

We tell our children to not get involved because we don't want them to get hurt. We teach them to not stand up for what is right. Would I change this message for my children? NO! I don't want them to get shot, stabbed, beaten... but what if we don't stand up anymore?

Is it because we are scared or because we don't care or does it even matter?

What do we do now? Those who will perpetrate are invincible because nobody will stand against them and they have no reason to fear repercussion until after the fact. Are they shamed by the public airing of their deeds? Does the fact that they get arrested AFTER THE FACT serve as some sort of deterrent?

Come on people! What are we going to do about this? What is the answer?