Sometimes, I have to admit, I wonder about my own sanity. Everybody does at one point or another. I no more understand the reasons behind some of the things that exit my mouth than the poor people around me. My only excuse is an extreme, self-imposed, lack of sleep. There are reasons behind this but worthy of a different blog entry.
Still, I try to remain true to my word and make every effort to live with integrity. This cannot be said of some of my acquaintances. Even if for self-serving reasons, how self-serving is it to be caught in a blatant lie? Do you really think nobody listens?
Anyway, it is 4:38 in the morning and I am only ranting. More power to ya and it is all fairly harmless at that. I still think you mean well.
In the mean time, I am starting to panic about time, money, health, reputation, self-defeatism, unknown forces and unexpected calamities. As I said in the last post: God give me strength.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
God give me strength
Life is awfully short. This is a fact even when you are waiting for what may seem like forever. Before you blink it was yesterday and then even decades ago.
Today, my arm feels numb. An aftershock from my heart tensing up just from the hint of an impending conversation that I did not want to have. A couple of days ago I looked at a photograph taken while I was talking and couldn't believe how old and tired I looked.
The past year has been rough. I know why and at the same time have to wonder if it is worth it. I'm committed now though. So, I have to follow through and all the while have to wonder if I'll last. The undertaking seems to be taking its toll.
Still, I have to keep doing it. This is one of those defining moments. I could stop but I'd be passing up what really is a chance of a lifetime. These are the opportunities you either take or don't and things you'll never likely regret.
I'm starting to worry about money though. Even dreams take financing. That and, as a friend likes to say, bandwidth. I'm low on bandwidth. I need help. I know this. The trick is to find the right help for the right price. Free costs too much and paid is something that is coming ... hopefully.
Anybody got a buck to spare for a dream? That way I can hire some elves.
Today, my arm feels numb. An aftershock from my heart tensing up just from the hint of an impending conversation that I did not want to have. A couple of days ago I looked at a photograph taken while I was talking and couldn't believe how old and tired I looked.
The past year has been rough. I know why and at the same time have to wonder if it is worth it. I'm committed now though. So, I have to follow through and all the while have to wonder if I'll last. The undertaking seems to be taking its toll.
Still, I have to keep doing it. This is one of those defining moments. I could stop but I'd be passing up what really is a chance of a lifetime. These are the opportunities you either take or don't and things you'll never likely regret.
I'm starting to worry about money though. Even dreams take financing. That and, as a friend likes to say, bandwidth. I'm low on bandwidth. I need help. I know this. The trick is to find the right help for the right price. Free costs too much and paid is something that is coming ... hopefully.
Anybody got a buck to spare for a dream? That way I can hire some elves.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Full moon
Don't talk to me about the moon's effect being nonsense. Thursday was all about it. Car accidents, soar, throats, strange conversations, everything getting off the rails.
Religion has it all wrong. We should not be praying at the alter of the sun. It may be responsible for our ability to survive but the moon dictates what happens while we do.
Religion has it all wrong. We should not be praying at the alter of the sun. It may be responsible for our ability to survive but the moon dictates what happens while we do.
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