Sometimes I feel like crying

It's been a while
I have something to say
Sometimes I feel like crying

Apologize, move on, keep doing
But nothing feels quite right

I feel so trapped
So indisposed

So used and trampled and abused

It's my own fault
The blame is mine
I don't know how to stop

The spiral is unwinding

Today was hard because I'm scared
Nobody cares what stress
Has done to my imagination

The more I try
The more I die
Inside and on the outside

I feel like all the fates conspired to give and then to take
Away from me the talents they
Instilled and then distilled from me

In the grand scheme
Of life and being
I know that all good

But my small fragile mind and ego
Have more than they can handle

For all my life I have been there
Inside and on the outskirts

Watching the friends and actors play
The strings of social interaction

They make it look so easy
Smooth

I think there's something wrong

Inside my head
The music plays
But not to anybody else's strings

My nerves are tattered
Frayed and snapped

I don't know if its over

The problem is that haters yell
And lovers watch from sidelines
So should I vanish
Dig a hole
Stick all of me inside

And then the more
Obsession strives
To choke my breath from me
Of little babes who truly need
What I am not delivering

It's time I stop
But I can't stop

I need to cry
I think