How to overcome gay parenting stereotypes

Please forgive this author for attempting to write about this topic despite being neither gay nor professing to own even an inclining as to what a gay parenting stereotype might be. This is why she is perhaps ideally suited to offer advice on the matter. There is only one way to parent a child and that is with love and to bestow on them the best that you have to offer.
A parenting style is unique to each couple. It is the amalgamation of what each has brought in to the relationship. In cases where there is only one parent, it is still the combination of who you were before the child entered your life and the impact of your current relationships, of both the romantic and non-romantic kind.
A person's sexual orientation is just that. Whom you opt to sleep with or be attracted to is a complex formula that has really nothing to do with your child since we are not sexually involved with the child. Nor are we in sexual competition with those that our child may later grow to be attracted to.
So, as Krishanmurti had said, you cannot control what goes on around you, as that is dictated by others. You can only die to them. This is not a physical death. It is a separation between both the good and bad that comes of your interaction with them. You just stop being guided and impacted by judgement. When they can no longer exert an influence on you, you can no longer react to what they say.
This is something like the idea of cyber-bullying. Turn off the computer and you can no longer read the hateful, intimidating messages. All of a sudden there is a healthy ignorance between what they expect you to do and what you feel needs to be done.
What strikes me as most compelling in all of this is that regardless of gay or straight, man or woman, there are so many different types of personalities. A straight couple where the woman is more dominant of the two is just as typical as an over-bearing, perhaps even emotionally abusive male spouse to his demure and long-suffering wife. It is no different from any other collection of individuals who happen to have formed a union.
All of these people, who by hook or crook have managed to become parents must now deal with an additional living soul, perhaps more, in their own right. People are people. The child is a person. Sexual orientation is not what defines a person. It should only define the part of a person that accounts for their carnal lust.

2011 Caledon Butterfly Gala for Wellspring Chinguacousy Cancer Support Centre

The most recent issue of SouthFields Village Voice has a really great article written by the editor and, with their permission. They are really hoping that this event will bring awareness for Wellspring so if you are looking for a good time on a Saturday night (i.e. cirque-tacular performance and duel pianos, an open bar and fabulous buffet by Village Bistro, one of Caledon's finest dining establishments), then I'd say $140 bucks is a really good deal for all that. Plus, money raised goes to support Wellspring and the great work they are doing with people going through cancer and their families.

Check out page 3 of the latest issue of SouthFields Village Voice (www.southfieldsvillagevoice.com) for details.

Hypocrisy

Sometimes, I have to admit, I wonder about my own sanity. Everybody does at one point or another. I no more understand the reasons behind some of the things that exit my mouth than the poor people around me. My only excuse is an extreme, self-imposed, lack of sleep. There are reasons behind this but worthy of a different blog entry.

Still, I try to remain true to my word and make every effort to live with integrity. This cannot be said of some of my acquaintances. Even if for self-serving reasons, how self-serving is it to be caught in a blatant lie? Do you really think nobody listens?

Anyway, it is 4:38 in the morning and I am only ranting. More power to ya and it is all fairly harmless at that. I still think you mean well.

In the mean time, I am starting to panic about time, money, health, reputation, self-defeatism, unknown forces and unexpected calamities. As I said in the last post: God give me strength.

God give me strength

Life is awfully short. This is a fact even when you are waiting for what may seem like forever. Before you blink it was yesterday and then even decades ago.

Today, my arm feels numb. An aftershock from my heart tensing up just from the hint of an impending conversation that I did not want to have. A couple of days ago I looked at a photograph taken while I was talking and couldn't believe how old and tired I looked.

The past year has been rough. I know why and at the same time have to wonder if it is worth it. I'm committed now though. So, I have to follow through and all the while have to wonder if I'll last. The undertaking seems to be taking its toll.

Still, I have to keep doing it. This is one of those defining moments. I could stop but I'd be passing up what really is a chance of a lifetime. These are the opportunities you either take or don't and things you'll never likely regret.

I'm starting to worry about money though. Even dreams take financing. That and, as a friend likes to say, bandwidth. I'm low on bandwidth. I need help. I know this. The trick is to find the right help for the right price. Free costs too much and paid is something that is coming ... hopefully.

Anybody got a buck to spare for a dream? That way I can hire some elves.

Full moon

Don't talk to me about the moon's effect being nonsense. Thursday was all about it. Car accidents, soar, throats, strange conversations, everything getting off the rails.

Religion has it all wrong. We should not be praying at the alter of the sun. It may be responsible for our ability to survive but the moon dictates what happens while we do.

Rick Mercer is the most influential person in Canada

If you follow Twitter and you don't follow Rick Mercer, you probably should because chances are most of your friends know the exact make-up of his favorite sandwich. Either him or Bob McKenzie. Bob seems pretty popular, too.

By contrast, most of us don't give too much of a fig about what our elected officials have to say. Take our favorite Police Chief cum federal MP. This is completely not like the US, where political leaders are followed more ferociously than Hollywood celebs. Then again, if you believe what you watch on TNN, Hollywood really does control what goes on at the White House.

Still, Canada does see to be running like a well-oiled machine these days so maybe we are right to not listen too avidly to what our tight-lipped PM is issuing. Harper took a country that was in much need of discipline and applied an admirable amount of father knows best.

Now, this is slightly different from the 'papa knows best' of our Ontario leadership. When is this guy going to finally get the boot? We seem to have a love affair with Dalton McGuinty. Most people couldn't care less what he says and keep giving him the right to keep saying it. Then again, we might find ourselves with another Bob Rae. Now there is a guy who is much better at teaching and writing books than doing. Ontario used to be a smart pick.

Moving right along, more people follow Michael Ignatieff than they do PM Harper. At the end of the day, just because they want to listen to him talk doesn't mean they want to vote for him.

I'll Harper over Obama, any day. Oh, how the mighty have fallen and knew that they wood. Leadership really shouldn't be a popularity contest, strictly democratically speaking...

Why people read blogs

Reading a blog is a lot like standing at a crowded bus stop and hearing snippets of conversation. If something catches your ear you will maybe even try to get a seat close to them when the bus comes so you don't seem to be listening.

For the most part, it is a blur of noise, blending into itself and of little known significance or relevance. Sometimes, though there are blogs that capture people's attention. Generally, I think the most successful blogs are about politics. If you write about politics and offer some sort of insight, on a regular basis, your blog will become successful.

Gone are the days when somebody could become rich and famous because they decide to write about cooking everything in Julia Child's cook book. The field was much less cluttered back then. There was less to read so it was easier to get noticed.

Having a successful blog means being a real expert on something and updating it consistently about the same topic, building a readership and a reputation.

For everybody else, it's just a glory project.