Laughter

Today I held my son and felt him laugh. The warmth of his body against my naked skin filled me completely. It wasn't like when I used to hold my daughter. That used to send electric shocks through my body. This was different, and still the same.

Entitlement Of The Immature Youth

Universities and Colleges are starting to complain that students today are not mature enough to handle higher education. They blame the problem on a pervasive sense of entitlement and an overly casual work ethic. It seems that as a result of attempting to keep kids in school, schools have abandoned teaching the core values of respect for others, self-discipline, and the ability to learn independently.

A long time ago the concept of social conscience did not exist. With time people realized that a society cannot be healthy and productive if it does not take care of the most vulnerable. This meant that children, the elderly and the infirm were not simply the responsibility of their caregivers. Things like the Industrial Revolution and Great Depression helped expand the list and introduced Guilds and Unions as forces to be reckoned with.

Since then, each subsequent generation somehow adopted the notion that their share of social welfare is a human right. Today, Western Society is plagued with a suffocating sense of entitlement. Where the original idea grew out of desperate need and the thought that those who are able bodied and of sound mind will naturally contribute in a positive way to support those who are not, today we are at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Today we, as a society, are chocking under the pressure of trying to figure out how to deal with escalating gang violence and overall mediocrity. Recent trends in attempting to keep kids in school and deal with funding issues in the education system have created a generation of people that are ill equipped to understand the past or educate the future. They will not be the bright minds that will help overcome the many complex issues we
face even now. What can you say of teachers whose assignments contain spelling and grammatical errors?

Rightfully so, we have moved away from the days when teachers could physically punish students in the classroom. But, now teachers are the ones fearing for their lives each time they enter their hallowed institutions. Why are we trying so hard to force these kids to go to school this way? There are other options.

If they don’t want to learn by sitting in a classroom and choosing to contribute to a positive environment, free of violence and abuse, give them a choice: Collective farm terms where they have to work for food and board, or apprentice programs for a skilled trade. Each option would necessarily enforce things like self-discipline, problem solving skills, healthy self-pride, and a genuine understanding of true community involvement.

It would also provide them with an ability to earn a living without turning to a life of crime or being a burden on the system. The farm option would have the added benefit of giving local farmers some much needed labor and ultimately improve locally grown food supplies and reduce the price of delivering food to the table. The apprentice route would fill a current void in skilled-trades.

If neither option is voluntarily selected, what ever happened to the idea of boot camps? It would be a last resort but, much more effective than attempting to force people to sit in classrooms without any noticeable benefit. High schools, Colleges, and Universities should return to being valuable institutions where people who want to learn something can do so from teachers who are qualified and able to teach. Perhaps then, as a society, we can move away from the rut we have been stuck in since the 1960’s. Perhaps now we can go back to filling schools with people who actually care if the bridges they build don’t collapse, planes don’t fall out of the skies, and customer service is more than a long forgotten Utopian notion.

Dignity

It used to be that I could say
With merit and restraint
That when a breast of mine must show
It would be with discretion

I used to care who saw it
It was for private view
This big round object of desire
That men were often drawn to

It used to be that they would see
In me somebody whom
Funky stuff was done to

Today that is not quite the case
It's strictly utilitarian
A source of food for babes and kings
Withdrawn from hiding at the fairgrounds

Not one does turn to look at me
As feeding time begins
We might be at the mall
We might be at the playground
We might be at a holy place
Or seated at the food court

Nobody cares to look my way
It doesn't shock or scare
Nobody thinks its odd to see a boob in open daylight
One day I might just hide away this object of desire
That day is not today as my despot wants to find it

the corner stone

a title should have upper case
so should a landmark
this one doesn't
it's a rock
it's always been a rock and always will be
it sits at a fork in the road and used to stand out

in time that changed
things grew around it
more people died
more graves were filled
it got harder to decide where to turn
the tree was easier to find back then, too
now it's not as small and not the only one
now you really have to hunt
especially if you don't go that often

it's always going to be a rock
it will always stay alone at the fork in the road
the tree can grow
you expect trees to grow
but, not the rock

Husband

I'll tell you a tale of a peculiar beast
The man who wed one day
That day, I know not why, sweat pouring down his face
He did not bother to correct
The way I did in error
Light the candle in the middle
I asked him why
He simply said "I wasn't going to correct you."

I'll tell you a myth of a man
That should be all sorts of wonderful things
Then I'll tell you the truth of a lovely man
Who today made chicken soup

There are so many times that I
Perhaps should keep my cool
So many moments when the mind reels at how he thinks
Not what he should be doing

Then I will think of many times I've trembled before others
Feeling less than secure
Not knowing how to fit in
So why do I have no control of hurtful things I've told him

Who is this beast and why is it
That days and years go by
When we do not connect at all
Heaping painful actions

Who knows what many years will bring
If we will be together
There are some times that bind us now
But, nothing bound us then
We could have walked away a million times

Somehow, we did not choose to.

The Problem With Illness

Yesterday she spent the day throwing up as I spent it helplessly trying to be of service.
All the while watching and waiting and hoping that it wouldn't affect anybody else.
Thankful that she wasn't having dry heaves.
Thankful each time that she leaned over the edge instead of needing another change of clothes.
I was running out of clothes.

Yesterday I went to bed early.
I couldn't tell if I was tired or sick.
Or sick and tired.

The day before yesterday everything was fine.
Today we had chicken noodle soup for breakfast and a big lunch.
Then HE got sick.
At least I didn't have to make dinner.
At least he threw up instead of just wanting to.
It's worse when you just want to.

Tonight they're all asleep.
Tomorrow maybe I'll be next.
Maybe I'll make a really long tonight so that tomorrow won't happen.

Each illness is unpleasant.
This isn't really illness if it passes in a day.

Doubt and Loathing

I'm not a good m....
I'm not a good w....
I'm not a good w....
I'm not a good p....

I have a short fuse.
I'm short on sleep.
I don't know how to love.
I'm filled with rage and doubt.

I'm disparate.
I'm desperate.
I have nobody.

I love nobody.

It isn't true. If it was true, it wouldn't matter.
I wouldn't be losing sleep over it.
I wouldn't toss and turn.
I wouldn't have regrets.

Nobody would have showed up even though I never thought they would.

How does one have no doubts.
Does that happen?